funny stuff

Nov. 2nd, 2007 08:08 pm
spiffikins: (Default)
So we posted an ad for a Database Administrator

Required skills - 3+ years with Oracle or MS SQL, knowledge of Oracle backups, RMAN, DataGuard etc. Other skills - Java, Tomcat, Apache, Network administration etc.

I get a response from one person who states in his cover letter that I would be "hard pressed to find someone who is a better match for this Database Administrator." He states that he has a great deal of experience in all of the skills listed in the job description.

Now - I'm Canadian, so I'm put off by grandiose claims of perfection - I'm already halfway ready to toss this resume away, but we haven't gotten too many, so I figure I should look at it anyway.

The document is .docx format - you need Word 2007 to open it. grr. So now I have to download a plugin to be able to open the file. Fine.

Open the file.

Scan the document.

Start laughing.

Nothing in this resume matches any of the required skills for the advertised position. I look again. I use the "find" option to search for some of the keywords in my job description. None.

The closest I can come to "Database Administrator" is that he worked for a few months using Access.

My *mother* uses Access.

At this point, I'm tired, it's late, and I'm annoyed by people who apparently cannot read a job description and determine whether they match. It's bad enough when it's just a random resume, but when someone takes the time to write a cover email claiming they are the *best* match for the job on *many* levels - it's especially wasteful of my time.

So I replied back.

My email was direct and to the point - I stated that I was perplexed because he claimed to have a great deal of experience as a DBA but his resume did not have anything on it pertaining to this. I also pointed out that not everyone can open Office 2007 files yet.

Tonight I get a reply back - telling me in no uncertain terms that *nobody* else has complained about the .docx file, and that he made a mistake and sent the wrong resume - but that instead of assuming there might have been a mistake, I *lashed* out at him.

And apparently, based on my hateful email, he now concludes that our company is obviously a negative and hostile place to work, and he would *never* accept a position with us, even were it to be offered.

I probably should have left it at that, but it's been a long week and I couldn't resist responding - "glad to hear it, best of luck to you in your job search. Hopefully you'll find something that matches your exacting standards and your high opinion of yourself".

I expect some pithy reply yet tonight - but I shall resist replying again.

On to the next candidate!
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